Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Today in pie: Pai Mei

Another brilliant film/soundtrack mashup.

: Once upon a time in China, some believe around the year, one-double aught-three, head priest of the White Lotus Clan, Pai Mei, was walking down a road contemplating whatever it is a man of Pai Mei's infinite power would contemplate, which is another way of saying, "Who knows?", when a Shaolin monk appeared on the road traveling in the opposite direction.

As the monk and the priest crossed paths, Pai Mei in a practically unfathomable display of generosity gave the monk the slightest of nods. The nod was not returned.

Now was it the intention of the Shaolin monk to insult Pai Mei? Or, did he just fail to see the generous social gesture?

The motives of the monk remain unknown. What is known were the consequences.

The next morning Pai Mei appeared at the Shaolin Temple, and demanded that the temple's head abbot offer Pai Mei his neck to repay the insult. The abbot, at first, tried to console Pai Mei, only to find Pai Mei was inconsolable.

So began the massacre of the Shaolin Temple, and all sixty of the monks inside at the fists of the White Lotus. And so began the legend of Pai Mei's Five-Point Palm Exploding Heart Technique.

Black Mamba: And what pray tell is the Five-Point Palm Exploding Heart Technique?

Bill: Quite simply the deadliest blow in all of martial arts.

Note to readers: A few slight alterations to the Five-Point Palm Exploding Heart Technique will make the perfect pie crust.

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